So let me get this off my chest. My current and continuing struggle. You might think it's another stupid girl who has boy problems. But I first am not just some girl.. and second this has been my struggle all my life. From middle school on.. this has been my struggle. At age 4, I went up to a little african boy and kissed him right on his cheek. This may seem harmless, but apparently I started young. At the age of 12 is when the pyscho Mackinac boys started chasing me. I am attracted 2 or 3 boys that were normal. I've dated many and more then I should have. I regret it in many more ways then one. I also am glad I did, in so many ways. I now am eighteen and after everything, I know exactly how I should be treated and never to settle for less. I have become a girl who is picky..
But the side of me that got me in trouble often shows too. It is the side where crazy beautiful boys come in. The side of Sara that let's everyone in, that gives everyone a chance. The side of Sara that thinks no one, besides strait up creepers or a** holes are let in. If you girls out there haven't noticed yet.. they don't have to look like a creeper (as my friends would say) to be crazy or weird . Everyone has their problems and many peoples problems don't come out until you are involved with the person. This is also my fault because I would date them without truly getting to know them. I thought by getting to know them.. was by dating them but this wasn't always the case. The true men..show themselves once they are deeply involved.
# 1 For all those girls who have stumbled because of men this is for you
I have dated so many guys, I have lost count. This may sound really bad considering I wasn't suppose to date until the age of 16. But, like I said I gave a lot of people chances. If I would not dated before I was 16 a couple things would of not happened. Again, I attrached the crazy ones. The first one I barely remember but it was sixth grade. It might not matter much because it was sixth grade, but this was my first encounter with the crazy side. I "dated" him for a couple weeks and he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. As a sixth grader I was shocked and told him he was crazy and that I was little and that was total insane. I later found out that he was two years older then me.. and had failed a grade. I did the little kid break up thing.. and he told me that he was going to kill me and kill himself because I broke up with him. I was a sweet little girl, raised in a house where things like that didn't happen. I eventually stopped talking to him and.. Yes, he later ended up in jail by the end of high school. This may seem stupid because I was so young but he is the first of many who have told me that they would die if I broke up with them. You shy girls out there. We are the girls who attract the ones that don't have their heads on strait. They reach for girls who will help them and if you aren't mature enough to know what was happening they will bring you down with their problems. Keep your eyes open and your lips sealed.
I dated in middle school.. but quickly moved far away from the town where the first guy was. At age 12, we moved to Las Vegas, Nevada. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas :) Please. Rich Middle School... hot boys.. Hollister was it. I turned into a brat, and every girl in the freaking school was. We cared about the way we dressed and that was about it. I was a dork in seventh grade.. but I met my friends that turned my into the "image" I needed to be. Makeup at age 13.. but clearly I wasn't allowed to wear it. It all started with the Makeup. Makeup= Rebellion. Cassie's house makeup time. Eighth grade was the first time I heard the word hot and sexy.. All those words that I wanted to be. At age 13, I looked 16. This is when the "legit" dating started. First kiss was Kody ( I think) .. and after I put these words down I hope to forget him. Tony, Keith and Chris were among many of my middle school boyfriends. Tony was my first make out in the middle school parking lot....and Chris was the first boy I thought about sneaking out with. Tony is still my one of my really good friends and I still talk to Chris occasionally. But as you can tell by the end of middle school I had already made out with five or six boys and didn't see anything wrong with it. As I am writing this boys and boys keep popping my in my head wondering if I kissed them or not. Ashamed that I was such a "kissable" girl. Some of them were normal.. others were not so much. One paced up and down my street until I talked to him. Another one called me over and over.. These are just the beginning of my crazy escapade of boys.
Not many things happened in Vegas but the boys is where it mainly started. I thank God every day though that he got me out of Vegas. I do not know what would of became of me, if I would of stayed there. My closest friends got into drinking and became druggies or drop outs. Some I still remain close with, but many drink all the time and it is hard to hear about. My closest friends from Vegas hardly believes in God anymore, and he has changed in many more ways then one. I don't know if it is him anymore. I think and pray about him and I hope he is going to be okay. Stirling if your reading this I love you to death, and I won't forget you.
After everything.. in Vegas this wasn't it and I left out many details of Vegas.. But everything happened in South Carolina. I am glad to finally be out of there, and be here in Virginia. Part 2 will be coming soon.
